Details: How did we decide on a country?
This is a bit of story, and one that will be different for every family. Our journey was a bit of a surprise and more than anything a testament to God's faithfulness and patience with us!! I love how the Lord takes all of our human misconceptions and just completely throws them into the wind. I can see in my mind, the Father taking our teeny-tiny ideas and just throwing them to the side, saying, "Oh, you think that is good?! What until you see what I have in store for you".
I have always known I wanted to adopt. And when I thought about adoption it was always that comfortable, "easy" scenario of finding a beautiful Latin newborn and bring him/her home. I grew up in the Dominican Republic and have (yes, still have) a heart for adopting a Dominican child. Imagine my surprise when I start our adoption research there... to find that I am too young to adopt a Dominican child! Both parents are required to be 30 year old (I am only 28 years old). After talking to my parents and reflecting on the "connections" we still have in the Dominican, I found myself thinking we could probably find a way around that. Meanwhile, there was this gentle whisper and continuous research leading to the enormous need for adoption in Russia. My hasty response: "Nah, it is TOO expensive!". So, I found myself contacting an agency that does adoptions in the Dominican and had them contact their Dominican lawyer. Response: No way around the age requirements. Sigh.
Next step? Brazil. Ooh... That would be "easy". We have contacts there and I can (sorta) relate to the language. After days of research and preliminary application: only older kids are available (like 6 years and older and most will special need). The lady I was talking to about Brazil: "What about Russia?". Hmm... this seems to be a recurring theme. Nah... Russia is too expensive and the travel requirements are ridiculous (three trips to Moscow!)
So, next was Guatemala, Honduras, Colombia, Haiti, Panama, Mexico, even Costa Rica. Weeks of research all basically a dead end. Some countries' programs were closed to government instability, some were "restructuring", some had only older children available, and some the waits were absolutely insane (Colombia was 4-5 years!). We were willing to wait, some, but as military family, we are bit short on the wait time as we will most likely be moving before 1.5 years, DEFINITELY moving before 2-3 years. So I searched on....
Ethiopia, Uganda, and few other African countries have a huge need. Fairly easy travel requirement, fairly young kids, and fairly inexpensive. So we prayed and prayed, but we both agree that the Lord is not calling us there.
Another interesting fact: If you want an infant (which I really always thought our adopted child would be an infant), international is not a good option. There are almost NO programs where you come home with a child < 6 months. So... I went GUNG-ho into Domestic adoption.
Domestic Adoption: spent weeks of time with applications and contacting various good/ Christian agencies. Great options with agencies, very inexpensive, and very comfortable. We would go through an application process, a homestudy, put together a family "profile" that would be shown to pregnant moms that fit our criteria for an infant, a birthmom would pick us, and we would go and pick up the infant. Seems pretty simple. I could have an infant and not much discomfort to us during the process. Wait times were variable: anywhere from 3-4 years for a Caucasian infant, 1-3 years for a biracial (which we were inclined toward). The hang-up? There were anywhere from 3-6 families waiting for every child placed for adoption here in the US! Wow, that is fantastic!! That is wonderful news to hear American families are meeting this domestic need! But we couldn't ignore this lingering feeling of "this is not where the need is".
So... Russia? I half-heartedly starting searching Russia. Kinda "weird" but one of Tom's senior in-charge officers are a lovely couple who had recently adopted FOUR Russian children. They absolutely opened their hearts to us and poured forth a wealth of information. Hmm... still, Russia is SOO expensive- we do NOT have the money and Russia is such a foreign (uncomfortable?) country to Celesta. Tom had spent a summer ministering to Russian orphans in a summer camp setting over in Russia back in high school. He loved his time; he feels like it was a refining moment in his life.
I searched more countries: China (Celesta is too young, they have the 30 year old requirement), India (new applicants need to be of Indian heritage), Ukraine, Tawain, South Korea... I researched every single country that allowed Americans to adopt their children. And the result:no good leads.
Honduras was a maybe... they have a decent program with a longer travel requirement... I was considering Honduras some. They speak Spanish... we had been in Latin America before. Abi was thrilled as she gone into Honduras (to pee in their jungle? Oh, Abi... gotta love my sister;)
Tom and Kim came down for a visit and we went for a few days to New Orleans. We broke the news that we wanted to adopt to them. Their reply was that they felt like they always knew we would. They knew that the Russia summer was a game-changer in Tommy's life. They are in full support of our decision! Wow... Thank you, Jesus! we were on the way back from New Orleans and Kaila was reading her little focus on the family magazine. She handed me the magazine and asked, "Mommy, what is this talking about?" Hm... it was a whole article about a little girl who has traveled to Russia. And in the article it stated that prayers were needing that the nearly million orphans would find loving homes.
Wow. Hm... looking at Russia closer. Super expensive? yes- anywhere from $45-60,000 + 3 trips to Moscow. Hm.... more thoughts, and I starting contacting agencies specializing in Russian adoptions.
Weeks go by, I get an email from one of the Russian agencies, pleading for families to adopt. They say they (for the first time since their conception in 1994) have more Russian boys available and ready for adoption than they have families for. Hm.
So we sat down and talked. We fasted. We prayed. And we sat down and talked again. We BOTH feel the Lord's gentle (and SOO patient tug) toward Russia.
YES it is WAY expensive- but the Lord WILL lead the way! So, for the first time in our marriage, we look at each other and look to God, saying: " We need money". We are not capable of doing through our own power(s).
And God's response: "I WILL take care of you- and your family. I WILL lead the way. Well done, my children. Thank you for following my lead. Fasten your seat belts, cause you are in for one exciting and wonderful adventure."
HERE WE COME RUSSIA!!!
Our prayer over our son: "Lord, grant him emotional, spiritual, and physical sanctuary. Wrap him in YOUR arms of love and may he know that his family is PRAYING for him, LOVING him, and coming for him. May the people caring for him feel a GREAT kindness, gentleness, and love toward him."
(I love this picture!)